Friday, August 29, 2008

The Nie Nie Recovery Fund

Many of you may have heard about this but many have not. A little family from Utah Valley - I believe - was in an airplane crash and they have four little children. The parents have burns throughout their bodies and I've just be touched by the online community's charity in the auctions that have been donated. Please visit the link here
to learn more about this tragic accident and also take a look at some of the items up for auction. You may also just donate if you so desire. I believe all the auction proceeds will be donated to the Nie Nie recovery fund. I can't imagine the thoughts of those four darling children where both their mom and dad are severly burned.

I'm happy about the fact that I noticed that this is also my 100th entry into this blog. What a special way to celebrate this benchmark!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Jesus drinks hot cocoa

Ellyse found a little lid off of an old bottle yesterday and she thought she'd like to use it as a cup. As four-year-olds do, she pretended her water was hot cocoa and as she joined me in the bathroom while I was getting ready, she mentioned that she'd finished her drink. She proceded to tell me that Jesus drinks hot cocoa, not tea or coffee. I'm thinking to myself, we haven't really touched on that subject too much yet with her so she must have heard this from her primary teacher but as I was thinking this, she mentioned that we don't drink coffee because we don't have coughs. Now, I KNOW we haven't touched on this truth yet.

No more bottles!!

Monday, I had the brilliant idea that it was high time Allie had better stop using bottles before all of her 3 and a half teeth rotted, like EVERYONE and their dog told me would happen. So, I took her bottle away for her nap that day, yes, I lie her down with a bottle to have her go to sleep so, sue me! You do what you can to help your sanity as a mother. Anywho, she screamed. She didn't scream too long which is what I was expecting for the nap but come night time after a day full of fraught, my nerve endings were fried and I couldn't take the screaming before bed so I hit the road and took a walk around the block. By the time I got home, she'd given in. However, my night was not full of good sleep. My anxiety of her screaming through the night or for hours on end kept me up. We once tried to get her to stop the bottles during the night and she screamed bloody murder for 3 STRAIGHT hours! Bloody murder screaming people. So, I was really scared, but luckily at 2:30 AM she took a sippy and went straight to sleep. What a relief! But by 5:30 she received another sippy and she is not used to the flow of milk so it kept her awake and she was awake since then. Tuesday, the nap was about the same but according to J, last night she screamed for only a second and then wallah! She took it! And fell asleep. auuuggh! What a relief! Then this morning, again she took it and after a while she fell back asleep. Thank Heavens and Hallelujah!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Seven!

Jason and I have made it seven whole years together today!

Today, seven years ago, we were able to go through the Bountiful LDS temple and be sealed together for time and all eternity. He was so cute that day! He was so anxious and excited at the same time. He'll kill me for posting this but during one of our photos, he put his hand on my butt, just cause he could.

I was a mess before getting to the temple. I couldn't relax and was crazy anxious. Then once we got to the temple and got inside, all of the anxiety and craziness dissipated almost immediately. It was really neat! I'll never forget that about that day. I'll also never forget the weather. J was so worried he'd have to be out in the hot weather in a monkey suit and be dying of heat but we were blessed to have excellent temp.s and a slight breeze taking pictures around the temple. It was so beautiful! Then later that evening as we were heading down to the Anniversary Inn, we were trudging through torrential downpours finding the place. Later, we heard that there was a tornado in SLC that evening. We had luckily scheduled our reception for the next evening instead of for that night. Then, if that wasn't enough cool weather info for ya, the next night during our indoor ring ceremony, it was really windy but by the time we went outside for the reception, the wind subsided. As Napoleon would say..LUCKEEEE!

I love my mag. He's such an amazing guy and cracks me up like no other. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Literally. I have a bad memory. I honestly consider myself lucky to be able to be with him for life and beyond! Happy anniversary Jas! I love you!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Star Party!

Last night we had the awesome opportunity to go up to Snowbasin Ski Resort and see the spectacular view from up there and also take a closer look at some stars, planets, and constellations from the telescopes that WSU provided. We went with the Wood's and Jake T. The beauty of the entire trip was amazing! I'm not a skiier but because of the beauty of that place, I nearly changed my mind. I wouldn't mind skiing there at all! It'd take me all day to get down the hill but hey, I'd have a wonderful view to stare at all day! The area really took Jason and I off guard! I had skiied up there as a kid with the fam but hadn't been there in ages so, it really was a shocker for me.

We ate dinner at The Oaks Restaurant in the canyon, which bytheway, if you ever want to eat outside there by the river on a weekend night, call ahead and make reservations! We waited for an hour for a table. Luckily, we had great scenery to look at and good company there as we passed the time!

Because of how long it took to get through with dinner, we cancelled our plans to go over to the Balloon Festival and headed straight to Snowbasin. Ellyse kept talking about the "box" we were going to get to ride up the mountain in. She and Allie both LOVED the gondola ride up there! Allie kept grunting and pointing at everything and Ellyse had a grin on her face most of the trip! We got up there and had to see the much raved about bathrooms that Diane's friend Jane had told her about. They were quite the thing to see! Fancy Schmancy Restrooms! We headed outside to the breathtaking views and telescopes and we all had a really great time! Ellyse kept asking when we were going to go back in the box for a ride. :)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

ABC Tag
Sarah tagged me so here goes.


A- Attatched or single- Attached!
B- Best Friends - My husband, our families, Cindy, Kent
C-Cake or pie- Food? Yes!

D-Day- I think I like Thursday’s a lot. 1. Because Ugly Betty is on TV (unless there’s a stupid strike) 2. I usually get to hang out at home with everyone after working and we don’t have to do anything. 3. Anticipation for the weekend.
E-Essential items- Cell Phone and Keys, kids
F-Favorite color- Electric Blue. It’s a deep, deep blue that just gets me every time I see it.

G- Gummy Bears or Worms- Food? Uh Hello? Give it here!
H-Hometown- Eden, garden of.

I-Indulgences- CHEESECAKE! Chips, Chocolate. I just realized all of those foods start with ch. Diet coke w/ lime or vanilla or cherry. Diet lemon lime drink from walmart. Yummy thick bread. Pizza. Can you tell I like food?

J-January or July- July. Ellyse’s birthday and it’s summer.
K- Kids- Ellyse and Allie
L- Life is Incomplete without - Laughter
M- Marriage date- August 21, 2001

N-Number of siblings- 1 brother, 1 sister
O- Oranges or apples- Food, yes!
P-Phobias or fears- watching my kids get harmed
Q- Quote- “You’re freakin hot” from my husband
R- Reason to smile- The blessings I have
S- Season- Spring, and fall.
T- Tag- Natlaie, Darby, Melissa
U- Unknown fact about me- I once jumped off a 40 foot cliff – into water.
V- Vegan or oppressor of animals- I love Ruby River Steaks!
W- Worst habit- looking on internet at work
X- X rays or ultrasounds- Have you ever seen a real x-ray of something of yours? It’s way cool!
Y- Your favorite food- I’m gonna go with Mexican.
Z- Zodiac sign- Pisces.

I'm such a sucker for things like this. I like them.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Our Little Pill

So Tuesday morning, Ellyse woke up on the wrong side of the bed and after a while I'd had it wiht her and told her to go to her room to take a break. I was doing my hair and getting ready to head out the door and so I didn't take the time to clean up the crazy mess she made while tearing apart her room..during her "thinking time." Later that evening as Ellyse was preparing for bedtime, she asked her daddy to fix her bedding that she'd thrown on the floor, yes, she tore apart her bedding. We are enrolling her and her mother in anger management classes soon. So she asked her dad to help fix her bed and dad was all "Lesee, how did your room get to be such a huge mess?" she replies, "oh, I was just being a pill."

Friday, August 8, 2008

I have connected with a girl I've never met before in so many ways..

Okay, I'm about to share something that I read on Dooce's website that touched my heart because I went through something somewhat similiar after the birth of our first child and oh how I wish I would've come across this site at that time in my life. I was a mess, not being able to sleep, cope with motherhood, the hell that was my experience with beginning to breastfeed and I wish that I would've had someone somewhere to tell me that there was another side of life to look forward to and that there was hope, because for a moment, I had lost hope and that was a very scary place to be. I'm not saying that my family and friends did not help because they helped in the ways that they knew how to but, there's just such comfort in knowing that you aren't the only freak out there. And I say freak because at the time you deal with this stuff, you overwhelmingly feel like a freak. I want to share this post from Dooce because, who knows, maybe out there somewhere you may know of someone who is dealing with this and needs the support that is that someone else is dealing with it or has dealt with it and is JUST FINE NOW. I'm so glad that my mom did the things she did for me and helped me through this incredibly difficult time of my life as well as my husband and all those who talked me through things and prayed for me (you know who you are). Anyway, here goes. Sorry for the length but what strength comes from this post...

Disclaimer: I have connected with this lady so much just through reading her blog but please understand that it's not the most PG rated blog you'll ever read. I really love how she puts a lot of her thoughts though and think you'll enjoy her blog if you take the time to understand her.

From Dooce.com:
I was recently at lunch with a few friends, one who had just been diagnosed with OCD that manifests itself in a need to straighten up everything around her, and I was all really? That's considered OCD? Because I thought that was just considered BEING ALIVE. And because she hasn't ever read this website she asked if I had ever been treated for a diagnosis abbreviated with capital letters. I looked across the table at my other friend, someone who is very familiar with what I have written here, and she almost gagged on an ice cube. I nodded and then explained that I'm in ongoing therapy for what's called C-R-A-Z-Y.
I feel like I need to say something today, right now, about my feelings toward therapy and medication, because in the last couple of months I've watched several people around me suffer needlessly because they were either too afraid or too arrogant to take care of their mental health. And I guess I'm trying to understand why anyone would resist trying to work through an issue that is making their life miserable, and that maybe if I came out and talked about what I have been through and how I feel about what I've been through, that someone may feel a little less embarrassed about getting help.
I suffer from chronic anxiety and depression, and I believe it started manifesting itself when I was in high school, maybe earlier. I didn't seek treatment, however, until my sophomore year in college when I was on the brink of dropping out, when I finally called my father and exposed a very dark side of me, explained that I did not have the ability to cope no matter how hard I prayed or tried to get over it. My mother had always sensed this about me, had watched bi-polar disorder wreck the lives of several of her brothers and sisters, and she had to convince my father to take this seriously. A week later I saw a therapist who prescribed Zoloft. That medication changed my life, lifted a dark cloud that had been tormenting me for years, and I stayed on that drug, healthy and happy and able to cope, up until Jon and I decided that we should try to get pregnant.
I never should have gone off that drug. I know this now, having suffered terrible postpartum depression that could have been avoided had I seen the red flags in my third trimester, had I taken early steps to deal with the symptoms. But three months after Leta's birth I was an inconsolable, suicidal mess. I was beyond repair, and all the drugs I tried in the following months would only make things worse: Risperdal, Ativan, Trazadone, Lamictal, Effexor, Abilify, Strattera, Klonopin, Seroquel. I couldn't sleep, couldn't unclench my jaw or hands, couldn't imagine how I would get through another ten minutes. After weeks of threatening to leave Jon if he had me committed to a hospital, I finally gave in and committed myself.
Because I was under constant supervision, my doctor in the hospital was able to give me therapeutic quantities of drugs immediately: 40mg of Prozac, 10mg of Valium, 2400mg of Neurontin. It was a combination he had given to countless women who had suffered postpartum depression, one that had worked time and time again. I felt a difference within two hours, and if you ask Jon he will tell you that when he brought Leta up to the hospital that afternoon to have lunch, he saw Heather for the first time in seven months, not that awful woman who liked to throw keys at his head. I truly believe that my doctor in the hospital saved my life. I owe that man my life.
In the years since my hospital stay I have tapered off Valium completely and now only take 300mg Neurontin at night. I still take 40mg Prozac every day, and here's where I cannot be emphatic enough, I will continue to take it or something like it for the rest of my life. I will not ever be off medication. I continue to see my therapist, not every week or even every month, but whenever I hit a road block and need someone to help me talk my way through it. Sometimes I have bad days, sometimes bad weeks, but the medication enables me to cope, to see a way out and over those times. I am not ashamed of any of this.
I think many people are afraid that if they take medication or even agree to see a therapist that they are in some way admitting failure or defeat. Or they have been told by their boyfriend or their mother or their best friend that they should buck up and get over it, and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Well then, let me be weak. Let me be a failure. Because being over here on this side, where I see and think clearly, where I'm happy to greet my child in the morning, where I can logically maneuver my way over tiny obstacles that would have previously been the end of the world, over here being a failure is a hell of a lot more enjoyable than the constant misery of suffering alone.
Yesterday I wanted to say this to someone but didn't because I'm afraid she will stop talking to me about certain things because I'm not telling her what she wants to hear. She wants me to tell her that she is right and that if she ignores a certain very large problem it will go away. But I don't understand why being right is more important that being happy, why someone would go on living with a sick, nauseating swarm of junk in her stomach rather than trying to figure out how to fix it, because the act of even admitting that she feels this way is somehow a character flaw.
All of this is to say that I am a success story. I am a victory for the mental health profession. And if you're even the tiniest bit on the fence about therapy or medication or herbs or acupuncture or prayer or meditation, whatever it is that you would turn to to try and pull your way out of sadness but are afraid to because of all that it would mean, here is this crazy woman in the Utah desert who admitted and accepted all of those horrible things about herself and in doing so found a better life.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

San Diego 2008!



Sorry, I tried and tried to get this to publish correctly but I ended up giving up. If you click on see all images, you can check out the slide show. There must have been some sort of glitch because I tried to put in my password at slide.com and they wouldn't accept it, even though I'm positive that I input them all 17 TIMES correctly. Anyway, hope you get to see the pictures. It was a really fun getaway!